its just not me. i cant take it anymore. i make my self dinner everyday and i can never do anything. i swim, do homework, sleep. right now i have all A's. and i really dont care. i passed my permit test today(got a 100%) and i really don't care. i just want my life back. today is a friday night and here is what i have done: rode bus home, got home at 5. couldnt go to a friends house because of course nobody would be able to come and get me because my family is to busy doing over things like going to football pasta partys, read,scraped leaves out of the pool, eat week old popcorn and pizza for dinner because nobody made me dinner and there is nothing to eat and im sick of making food for myself for breakfast lunch and dinner, then i have just sat on my computer.
im also upset because i am mad at myself, i mean its not even a big deal, i don't understand why i care. so today we ran the mile and p.e. and i always try my best and get a good time. well like this year i was to embarressed to try my best because i didn't want to get made fun of for trying and doing well and i hate when people are always like "what did you get on the mile" because i get really embarressed and i don't like want people to think im bragging or something. so this year i didn't try at all. and now im mad at myself because i didn't try my best and i should have. which sounds retarded but i purposly went slow. and i feel like a total loser and today sucked. and i just really hate everything. this year is the total oppisite from last year. my classes suck, im doing good in school, i dont have a social life, and im doing good in swimming.
i never get to even see my family because they are always at my brothers sports. sometimes i just think that i am living on my own
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