15 hours? what?

i slept for 15 hours today, weird... i hate that. i hate how i just wasted my whole day, i guess i needed the sleep but like i woke up at four (automatic body clock) and i was like er i want to go to swim practice, but i was suppose to take the day off. but i had this dream amy and emma went on a cruise with me and it was so funny i kept sleep talking that it was like pissing me off that i kept waking me self up i was talking so much and like i even took my hair out off my bun when i was sleeping and took my retainer out because in my dream we were getting ready for a formal night and it felt so real and i remember touching my hair in my dream and feeling my hair in real life because i spent all this time in my dream straigtning it but it was really curly when i was feeling it in real life. 

okay so amy is staying the weekend at my crib!wooohooo! im excited THEN we were having a sleepover with KC on saturday night! im really excited for that also! and guess what, swimming is OVER on saturday! YESSS. finally, but its weird, even though it is done, i will still be going to practice for no reason. 

so its official, im not doing XC this fall. i really want to! it was a really hard decision but i keep telling myself that i shouldnt do it. i love running and i really want to. its not that i don't want to do it because im a slacker and i don't want to run, im doing it because that when i get into the season i  know my knee problems and tendinitas and stress fractures and every other problem i had well come back im just getting over being injured from all my injuries from last year and prior. i am just now dropping my time in  swimming , which feels so good! so i am really going to concentrate on swimming this year. i also don't want to deal with all the shit i dealed with last year in XC and track and put up with all of it this year. i hate how people give me a hard time about me not doing XC, it was the same way with HS swimming too. like seriously what the heck just mind your own business i can do what i want, people think i don't do it because im slacking off and i just don't want to, but okay i love running and swimming, anyone that really knows me knows that it is not true, i don't slack. and i just know i cant do it because of my body and i will get hurt, and i honestly really truley sucks, and i hate it. i would much radther be doing all that running then sitting at the doctors office or doing my physical therapy, but thats not how it is, some off us arnt lucky enough to have perfectly uninjured bodies. so that is why im not doing it, i don't want to be in pain for the rest of my life and be temporarily depressed not being able to do what i love but watching everyone else be able to, ANDyou know what i REALLy hate, when people complain about running and say how much they hate it because ya know what im just wtf i would trade you anyday! because i would much radther be out there running then sitting here in the trainers office. lets trade.