summer week uno and duo

wait so only two weeks have gone by? it feels like summer is going by slowly(notcomplaining:)!) but it also feels like it was has gone by quickly, like it will be gone before i know it.
so far it has been very enjoyable. i have been really focusing one swimming, which i am enjoying, i am dedicating my first part of summer pretty strictly to my swim performance like my stretching, nutrition, and of course my training. i am making sure i get adequate sleep and all that other important stuff. but once champs is over im doneeee..LAKE WITH MY BEST FREINDS..swimming = over.. and a totally different summer comes in. its like two completely different lives and ways of living summer. both which i enjoy so much and i am excited and happy that i figured out this fun balance because when i go on vacations at the end of summer i am leaving swimming behind me and am fully enjoying the time with my besssst friends :)

btw did i mention i am now a liscensed driver:)
it feels like i have been waiting my whole life for this, always feeling held back by transportation issues, but now the time has come where that is not longer a problem. but i don't feel much different, i thought i would feel older and complete but its not the case. but hey i guess thats fine, because i can drive so who cares!

well i am off to make acai froyo! bye yallls:)

salve exams

salve = hello in latin.
not swimming this weekend has done good for me. swimming can be so stressful and life-revolving, i realized taking saturday and sunday off was exactly what i needed. i took my ACT saturday morning..wasn't too bad, not saying that i rocked it or anything, but i at least recognized the material for the most part so that is good enough for me.
as soon as i got back from my ACT i was still in focus mood so i got right to work on exam studying, which i really didn't mind... mostly because it involved me laying out and tanning for the rest of the day:) i love sun, peace and quiet.
i also picked a BAJILLLLION berries! gahhh i can't wait for summer when i can pick fruit every single day! i want to upload pics of all the berries i picked but i will do that later.
then today i reffed 3 games and went to target and bought this its a calander and organizer thing, its really cool and i feel really organized. after i got home i just laid out by the pool, studied, tanned, and stretched later on. i am about to go make dinner for everyone tonight and i am making asaparagus pizza(from the garden:) )
OH AND i forgot to mention the new panini maker i purchased today...check out the masterpiece it made
i also bought tons of food(of course) and a white v-neck(obsessed with $8 vnecks!)

okay so i am refreshed and ready to conquer this week. exam week is a love hate situation. love: getting out early, getting it over with, hanging with friends after school (studying of course ;)school is chill. then school is done.... hate:obvvvv taking the exam, ...school being done?

LICENSE = 18 days!
oh and i want to run a marthon this summer!

do what you like and like what you do

but its hard to know what you want ya know? i feel like to do something i always have to sacrifice something else.
i wish:
-i could drive
-school was done(or do i?)
-i could swim at ida lee and never go to cm
-it was warmer in the mornings
-i could make banana froyo and buy my own personal blender so i don't have to share with my family
-get all a's
-stop putting so much pressure on myself
-exams would be over
-i could always go to school with my friends
-stop forgetting everything
-i could frigggin make up my mind and quit stressing out over little decisions and stop trying to do everyting. i need to realize that i can't do everything, i am so busy and i have to many conflicting responsibilites that i can't figure out the most important ones
-figure out the balance between swimming and life. i like to swim all the time but i miss out on so much, do i really want to do that? i don't think i will ever know.

bassssicalllly only one week of school, i need to get it over with thennn i will be done and i can figure everything out, 2 weeks of stress won't kill me..it might drive me crazy, but won't kill me. i can catch up on my sleep after school is done.

better better better

last quarter of school. i really need to make the best of it, grades and friend wise.
last night = awesome, i thinkkk, "it could be the beginning of something great"
life missed us.
motivation of the week: Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

not sure

i don't really know how to explain my mood, i guess i am kinda shaken? like if something were to bother me just a little bit right now i would totally just fall apart. maybe im tired, sore? i'm not sure but i know it is mostly because i had to go to the guidance counselor for the second time this week to figure out my stupid schedule for the school i am switching to next year. i don't know why but talking about it just really chokes me up, maybe because making my schedule makes this switch reality and not some event that is just going to happen eventually. well they aren't even offering the classes that i want to take. and all the sudden it hit me that it is actually happening, reality set in that everything next year will be different.

pulling it together

okay so i even though i added an extra practice to my week, still fit in my homework(barely) but i did it.
i had like 4 tests this week(end of the grading period) but i really just have to like give it my all until like the point of exhaustion because if i don't i give myself such a hard time. all hard work will pay off in the end. i love weekends too, i usually get all my homework done before the weekend, i am not the procrastinating type. this week was so hot and then today it got freezing..

any day can be a new years resolution

okay so starting sunday i am going to pull myself together.
this week of spring break is like just recharging, and getting me prepared for hard work until summer.
i am going to finish my 3 essays that i just can not make myself do, i am not ever eating junk food( i have had too much bad food this week..but i don't really have a choice because we are in a car and its the only food i can eat)
this week i am not excersizing as much and i am just letting myself heal and rest up for the hard work in both school and swimming that i am going to do. i get my grades up and just study really hard these next few weeks.
by posting this blog i actually have to make myself do this.

FLORIDAAA!

okay, so i totally forgot to post about my trip to florrrrrida(not over spring break) though, i wish i was! it seems like everyone is there now, where as i was there last week.

For the first time in 2 years, i was able to get out of my race and actually be happy. nothing wrong with that if you deserve it right? people asked me how i did and for once i could say "great" because this was the first meet in years that i actually dropped time, it felt great to know that all those mornings of waking up at 4 to go to practice, stretching and doing my

therapy for an hour every night, missing sleepovers with my best friends, not going to social events all the time, not doing HS swimming, not doing XC or track, and all the other sacrifices i made...finally paid off. it just felt so great to drop time in every event i swam and know that i worked so hard for it, it was inspiring and really motivating, i am really excited for the long course season coming up.

Florida was so beautiful, EVERY single boy there was just flawless, i have never seen so many perfect beings in my life. the weather was great, and the pool was just so nice, it felt great to swim outdoors, the swimmers there don't realize how lucky they are that they don't have to swim in a disgusting indoor pool with horrible air.

oh, and of course..ryan lochte was there! the moment i have waited for my whole life^

<3

greetings from the mountains

so i am

at Solitude Pointe,in SC. it is really cool actually.

every year...(i always forget it when the next year comes along), but i always forget how much fun i have with my family. i dred these vacations at first, but then i forgot, it doesn't take a lot for me to enjoy myself. this morning i woke up after sleeping for 12 hours, and we drove for like an hour just to find a grocery store to make food for breakfast, ahha we are literally in the middle of no where. there are more churches than there are houses and everything(as in the few stores) are closed because there is church. but it was so beautiful yesterday, we are way up in the mountains and there are waterfalls. and we have like 3rd cousins(distant relatives) here that own this cabin place, so we are staying ^here. but now it is raining, and kinda cold. i wanted it to be nice so i could go on a run or go hiking. but instead i am on my computer. tomorrrrow i am going to Clemson though, we met this man that set up a private tour for us tomorrow. i hope i get food there to eat. the weather is suppose to be nice tomorrow, so that is good.

well tomorrow after my tour is... alabamerrrss. lalala

roller coaster waves

this week is big, should be the best week ever, but being the person i am.. that is stuck to routines and is totally freaking out inside worrying about whether or not i will be tired or be able to stretch or do my homework..i can't enjoy it. MY BIRTHDAY IS ON FRIDAY, i am turning SIXTEEN, i am going to a party and then the next day is winter formal. but between all that i need to stretch/do my pt everyday, and go to swim practice sat morn, sun. morn, and sun. night AND get all my homework done, and sleep. and of course enjoy myself, but how can i do that when i am constantly worrying? i need seriousss help. and my friends are really good at helping, but i just need people to tell me to like chill out and enjoy myself..Carpe Diem. it is a common problem that everybody has, they are too busy worrying about what is going to happen that they don't take time to enjoy themselves. i am the biggest victim, and i hate it. basically i am just on a giant roller coaster of life, and this roller coaster is nausiating. i lost my history and science book a few days ago and it just really threw me off, the little things can just throw me off course so much. for normal people this wouldnt be a problem at all, they would just move on with life, but me..wow, i had like 3 breakdowns, i went phsyco, i don't know how my friends deal with me, but they handle me so well, i seriously do not know what i would do with out them, they know me better than i know myself.

a few words of wisdom

all of these have nothing to do with each other, but just sum up my week:

• you always want what you can't have
• lieing never works, it ALWAYS will come back around, even if you don't want to believe it.
• you don't know how much you love someone until their gone
• leading people to believe things longer doesn't help, just because it makes it easier on yourself, doesn't make it easier on others
• you only know the truth .999% of the time, all the other times..you just think you do.
• it is those certain situations that make you know who you're real friends are..and the ones that just pretend to be.

a mind reader

i wish i could read peoples minds and know the truth, or even better..if nobody ever lied.

especially recently, incidents are coming up(like 394283). and every single one comes down to somebody lieing and somebody telling the truth. and i just you just have to believe your gut feeling.

but anyways, MY BIRTHDAY IS NEXT WEEK! i love my birthday.

ew..and it might snow thursday..

btw, i love my friends more than anything.

rip katie

i have to put my dog to sleep tomorrow. i have really weird feelings right now and i don't even know how to describe but i feel guilty and horrible for having to kill her, like i am a murder. first my cat dies like 2 weeks ago and we had to put him to sleep. and now katie, and we can't even bury her with all the other animals because the ground is frozen and i really do not want to cremate her. she was my first real dog and the pet i loved the most out of any of them. i don't want to be all emotional about. but she is just in a lot of pain and i don't know what else to do. i want to think she will be in a better place,right? and that i am doing the best for her and not just trying to get her out of our lives because she is just being there kind of like a vegtable and she can't really do much. and i feel bad just looking at her knowing that i am going to kill her tomorrow. it is such a horrible thing. is there dog heaven?

a food day in the life of me

wake up for morning swim practice

english muffin^, very good for my stomach since i can't eat a lot before i swim (i have bad acid reflux) i always have this before i swim, like i have been doing it for the past year.

AFTER practice replenishing food. (ALWAYS have this too)

2 small apples, or one big apple. depends.

then i get home, hit my self up with some protein, get dem muscles nice and big. theirs like 2 oranges, 2 more apples, like 8 strawberries, 2 bananas and some 4 tbs of all organic hemp protein.

&+ a salad..i love salad.

...and i picked at brownies... and ate 3...oppsie poopsie.

THEN i stretch, take nap. eat again, but before i fell asleep i made homemade honey wheat bread and while i was sleeping i let it cook, everybody in my family loved it and i pratically ate the whole loaf by myself, and i kinda forget to take a picture before i ate it but i kinda got one..

but then after my nap i ate my before practice because i was hungry

then i went to practice again.

for my second dinner i went out on a valentines day date with the girls. now, i didn't take pictures of my food(opps) BUT i did take pictures of my friends. they are vury purty gurls.

i had a TexMex salad and bread and vanilla ice cream and it was absoulutly DEVINE, and i even gave birth to a food baby after:)

...then i came home and ate 5 cookies, i mean my bro's gfran made them for us..i couldn't just let them sit there uneaten.

now now, this is NOT a food blog, and i am not blogging about what i am eating everyday, i just thought it would be fun to do it once. but i really wanted to show off my BFAST after practice this morning.. home faaaresh eggs, straight from the chickens. they do good work and i wanted to give them credit.

andddd

ALSO, i forgot to say that i hate the snow. it needs to leave and it's ruining our lives and whoever likes it must die too.

food

well i see all these blogs where people post what they eat and i think wow, i could never just eat like a 3 meals a day, i constantly am just eating. so tomorrow i am going to take picture of every single thing i eat.

long time no post

a new beginning?

im leaving my two best friends(and many others) next year to go to this new highschool, which my parents are forcing me to go to since i can't commit to driving to my old school because i live so far away(and other reasons). as much as i want my friends to come, they really really really don't want to. and im not going to force them to do anything, they can make there own decisions.

everyone always says "oh we will stay friends!" or like "i will still see you"

but the truth is, i know that won't happen, my life is so busy, and i hardly ever see my friends now except for at school. so i really don't know whats gonna happen, it really sucks. i hate this so much.

its been a while

just to update:

all a's and a b+ and AP world! i did it!

and i dropped my time in my 200 br for the first time in two years!

life is going well.

my mommys sick though, pray for her.

i have not blogged in forevs.

homecoming: i had fun, i mean the dance part wasn't so great.. but i had a really fun time with my frans.

currently im a sick lil girl, i have swine. yes i am a victim, now i can say i survived the swine flu! MUAHA! this past week has consisted of doc appts. on tuesday i went to the ER because i couldn't breathe, and they still arn't sure whats wrong with me so i keep having to go to a bunch of different doctors to get all of these test done. it is kinda scary, it was my first time like having this happen to me( having to go to the ER and getting and IV and CT scans, ect) thennn on top of all that, i got the swine flu. in the past 48 hours i have slept 34. and the remaining 14 i spent on facebook... can you say no life? thats what happens when i can't swim, don't have h.w. and can't leave the house.

this lovely, beautiful and friend filled 4 day weekend, turned into me laying in bed.. funn?

i couldn't to go the movies or my friends' bday dinner. but atleast i got to hang out with my swim friends on halloween, that was fun, we were in the parade.

i don't really have much to say except thank god the quarter is over, i think i did a really good job! all A's and B's...i think so! YAYAY! i worked really hard.

lemme take spin

just took a very successful spin in the car.

today is much better.

swim practice was good(especiall since i got out early to ref) WHICH... i reffed my first U9 game all by myself, no AR's. which may not seem hard but it is nerve racking. i also didn't miss a single call.

then i went driving with daddy. it is kinda scary at first, actually it is scary the whole time. but i did really good. i hope to get better though.

living on my own

i cant take it. i can't stand coming home every afternoon during the week and making my own dinner and just doing homework and then going to bed at 8.

its just not me. i cant take it anymore. i make my self dinner everyday and i can never do anything. i swim, do homework, sleep. right now i have all A's. and i really dont care. i passed my permit test today(got a 100%) and i really don't care. i just want my life back. today is a friday night and here is what i have done: rode bus home, got home at 5. couldnt go to a friends house because of course nobody would be able to come and get me because my family is to busy doing over things like going to football pasta partys, read,scraped leaves out of the pool, eat week old popcorn and pizza for dinner because nobody made me dinner and there is nothing to eat and im sick of making food for myself for breakfast lunch and dinner, then i have just sat on my computer.

im also upset because i am mad at myself, i mean its not even a big deal, i don't understand why i care. so today we ran the mile and p.e. and i always try my best and get a good time. well like this year i was to embarressed to try my best because i didn't want to get made fun of for trying and doing well and i hate when people are always like "what did you get on the mile" because i get really embarressed and i don't like want people to think im bragging or something. so this year i didn't try at all. and now im mad at myself because i didn't try my best and i should have. which sounds retarded but i purposly went slow. and i feel like a total loser and today sucked. and i just really hate everything. this year is the total oppisite from last year. my classes suck, im doing good in school, i dont have a social life, and im doing good in swimming.

i never get to even see my family because they are always at my brothers sports. sometimes i just think that i am living on my own

something to be proud of

i have been doing a really good job managing my life. even though my social life is not so hot right now i have been doing all my hw/projects the day they are assigned and i am not delaying or putting off any assignments. i stretch everyday. have been making all my swim practices. going to bed really early*cough cough* 8 oclock. (now you know what i mean by no social life) but still, my grades are most important, when i know i can manage all my homework i will do more things, i just really want to bring up my GPA, and i am doing everything i can to do it. even sacrificing my social life, who would have EVER thought that i could do that(i know i didnt) i am determined to never get a C again. and so far my grades have been good.
i feel like life is going good, except for my friends, i sorta feel like this sucky schedule situation with having no friends in my class is really kicking in and taking control. i rarely see my friends at school, or even get texts or calls from my friends..which is kind of depressing. but my texting and calls are blocked during school and after 7:30(because of grades) so maybe thats why i don't get any. but i feel like this is enough for now, i have strict schedule i must follow and computer time does not fall in it.

failure

today i took i went back and took my permit test before school.
i missed the last question. i have been studying for this test all summer and i feel like my whole live revolves around it, i wanted to be able to say i passed on my first time, nobody really understood how upset i was today when i got to school.
it was a dumb question too, i made a careless mistake and should have gotten it right.
im mad. this will haunt me for the rest of my life.

omfg.

im going to try really hard to keep it clean.

i went to the dmv after school to get my permit.

little did i know that you have to get your test by 4:30

i got there and waited in line forever. then i finally get to the front and it is 4:32. they tell me i can't take my test!  so i talk to the manager who was a freakin brat. i left without a permit.

i have NEVER been so upset in my life, furious, want to kill someone. i had to leave the place right when the manager told me no to refrain from punching her in the face. i can't take it, that place is hell and redicuoulsy slow and i am so pissed off. now i have to go before school tomorow to take it.

ehh

okay so i went to a party last night, not as great as i expected. i still had fun though

school- my schedule pretty much sucks.

im tired, my legs hurt so bad, and im sore, and now i have to go ref more

im not going to be blogging that much because of school and i'll be really busy this year.

that sums up my week, bye.

the last weekend of summer.

the 4 rows sitting on the shelf are all my new outfits:)

ya know what, im ready for school. kc helped me put together all my new outfits, with all the new clothes i got i can make 18 different outfits. could not have done it without her! they look awesome, and i can't wait to wear them. but okay on saturday i can get my permit, finally. but im not. i chose to go to the lake with my best friend amy , im going to take my permit the next monday instead, the lake will be much more fun, i just really wish i could get my permit out of the way, im dieing to be able to drive! but i will have so much fun at the lake, spending my last weekend with amy. and it can wait. i am probably the most impatient person in the universe, ask anybody that knows me and they would tell you that. i have so much trouble waiting for things. its probably really annoying for who ever is around me to deal with me, its hard to deal with my self sometimes. 

"patience is a virture" - my close friends tell me this a lot to get me to shut up, it always makes me laugh. we now just have to tell it to eachother... my impatientness is contagious:)

goals!

my goals for this school year: i will strictly obey these. but i will need help.

1. get all A's and B's. my gpa sucks, i really need to bring it up.

2. stay organized and follow a routine, i don't want to get sloppy, things are easier for me when im organized and have a schedule.

3. do my physical therapy everyday.

4. be nice to everybody, even if i hate them.

5. don't get injured.

6. get my teachers to like me.

7. make new friends.

8. don't get on the computer a lot, i need to study!

9. make my sectionals cut short course.

10. get sleep.

school starts in 7 days.

i can't figure out outfits to wear for school, i bought all these new clothes and i still can't figure it out! ughhh. it usually comes easy to me but not right now. its really bothering me!

but i really want to just chill out for these next few days before school starts, that way i am so bored i am dieing to go back to school.

what a great weekend.

my weekend was amazing. everything was great, i can't believe its over. i guess i am excited for school?i need to be.

kc me and amy went to dewey and rohoboth beach on sunday with kcs mom, i had SO much fun, i can't wait to do it again! we tanned and walked up the beach all day and then at night we went on the rohoboth board walk and ate sushi and ice cream *DELISH* we met boys too and went on the beach at night, it was so so so fun. 

oh and kenny, that was amazing. i had an awesome time, i met new people there and of course the music was great. and what better way to top off the night then go to mickey d's after and having a burping contest?

i just french braided my hair!

so lately i've been trying to go to bed early, i learned that staying up late on the computer is pointless and a waste of time. i like getting up early also, so if i go to bed earlier i will wake up earlier. but i have been going to bed so early that i wake up at 1 in the morning to get up for the day. which is really annoying because then by the time noon comes im already tired, and theres not really much to do at 1 in the morning. so i sat in my bed until 5 oclock this morning and then decided to get up and make breakfast and then excersize. 

i really don't want it to storm this weekend,  i have a lot of fun stuff happening and every singly thing will be ruined it if rains, football game, bonfire, concert, beach, every singe one. 

feelin a bit better

so last night i went to bed at 7 to clear my head, i wasn't feelin' so hot last night and i just wasn't really up for much. my feelings were a mix of dissapointment, confusion, and upset. i don't know what was up with me. i never had quite felt like that before.

iffy

ugh, so i got all these back to school clothes, and im usually so excited for school after i go shopping...but im not. and i don't really like my clothes.

er.

five days in a row with kc

wow. i am so sick of her. JUST KIDDING! hehe. never.
so i think i have a problem where i get excited about everything, like im always looking foward for the next upcoming event or anything happening in my life. for example tommorow i want to do a mini triathlon with my friend michelle and im excited about that and on friday a bonfire and football game, and on sat. kenny chesney concert, and on sun. beach with kc! i mean there is always something to look foward to and i feel like i don't live up the moment because im always looking foward to the next thing thats going to happen. i mean its not that big of a problem or anything its just that i just started noticing it.
i went shopping againnn yesterday, i got a v-neck from old navy thats like this reallly pretty soft gray color and a cool peace water bottle ( amy kc and i all got matching water bottles except we got different ones that reflect our personality ) and i also got a pair of shorts from hollister. not to much shopping because i was at fair oaks the day before shopping. and i got a lot then!
kc and i put together like 15 outfits with all the new clothes she got, and then im going to do mine today!
things to look foward to next week - painting kcs room, hopefully having a sleepovr with kp and emma and then going on a run with emma, dyeing kcs hair back to her normal color, and just getting ready for school.
i will blog later. byeya

I GET A NEW PHONE TODAY

i woke up really early, i feel like a little kid on christmas right now.

i love getting excited for things, its the greatest feeling ever. then today its like a girls day out, and i love those. so it's gonna be a great day.

target rocks my world.

so i hadn't been to target all summer, we had some catching up to do.

i bought this really cool like flannel shirt, its blue and yellow plaid. our school colors! so im gonna wear it for like spirit wear and stuff, it is so cute. and i got a pair of denim faded ripped jeans, i also got a baggy tank top which is very simple, i like that. oh and i got rings, there purrrty hip.

i also bought makeup, i am officially done buying m/up for the rest of my life, i have way to much, and im satisfied. 

okay so i bet your dieing to know how my doc appt went - i got medicine for my skin and i have to poop in a cup to figure out what wrong with me, i don't think im going to be able to do it because i might throw up, especially after watching 2girls1cup, THAT is the most disgusting thing i have ever seen in my life, EVVVEEERRR.

i am really really excited for tommorow, mall with kc and amy and maybe amys mom, there is also something else for someone but i can't say because if she read this and found out it will ruin the surprise, and i can't wait to surprise her!

i still have to ask my mom about getting my ear peirced, opps.

doc appt tommorow.

im excited for it, because like my stomach had been hurting a lot, and i want help, and i want medicine to make my skin flawless (in other words i want to never see another zit on my facea gain so i need acne medicine)

dennn on sat. i be gettin a new phone! ohye. and fair oaks, i really hope my mom will take me.

i wish i could go to the xc meet, but that would just be awkward. i still wish i could do it and be part of it so bad and its weird because i still care about how everyone does and stuff, as if im part of the team still. but im not.

APnKP

^new youtube page 

check it out.  its not really much of anything right now, hey, maybe we will be famous youtubeians(?) one day!

so i havn't seen amy and kc in a while, i really miss them:( i hope we get to go shopping together this weekend, im thinking about getting a second peircing on my cartilage, what do ya think?

i wish i could get my belly button pierced, but i know i never will because at times i think it is so tacky but then at times i think its super cool(and my parents would never let me)

these last few weeks of summer im not really planning much during the week, sorta relaxing and being extreamly lazy and living it up for the few weeks i can in the year because im not swimming, its nice to actually sleep, its different, im kinda getting sick of it and want to go back to swimming. once i start i will regret saying that.

hmm, booked.

i like hanging out with friends, it kinda sucks because im stuck at home everyday because i have to babysit my brothers, one who is in 8th grade (which makes no sense to me) but whatever. and then i get in trouble if i don't make him lunch. sometimes i think he is retarded, not kidding.

well the lucketts fair is this weekend! im so excited! i loveeee the lucketts fair, the ice cream is the best, each year the community hand churns it and we can buy quarts, in my family we each get a quart per person because we eat it up so fast and that way we won't fight over it. i already ate my quart...in a few days....

I GET A NEW PHONE SATURDAY! OHHH YEEEEE

enV touch, or moto Q... hmmm. can't decide which phone i want!

so also, i really want to have a party? like a chill get together with like all my friends... but i can't decide when

OH and i get my permit on Sept. 5th. I have been studying errryday!

i am suppose to go back-to-school shopping this weekend, or next.

ANNNNDDD kenny chesney is next weekend, so excited!

alright well im at katelynns house, peace!

school starts in 28 days.

am i ready to be a sophmore? eh, okay so this year im really gonna buckle down, as of now my grades completely suck. and i would like to actually go to college, and i highly doubt i would be able to with my gpa. but im kinda nervous for my classes, i really want to have good classes with all my friends.    i want to go back to school shopping asap.

hi, i just came back from fenwick island!

family vacay, gota love em'.

15 hours? what?

i slept for 15 hours today, weird... i hate that. i hate how i just wasted my whole day, i guess i needed the sleep but like i woke up at four (automatic body clock) and i was like er i want to go to swim practice, but i was suppose to take the day off. but i had this dream amy and emma went on a cruise with me and it was so funny i kept sleep talking that it was like pissing me off that i kept waking me self up i was talking so much and like i even took my hair out off my bun when i was sleeping and took my retainer out because in my dream we were getting ready for a formal night and it felt so real and i remember touching my hair in my dream and feeling my hair in real life because i spent all this time in my dream straigtning it but it was really curly when i was feeling it in real life. 

okay so amy is staying the weekend at my crib!wooohooo! im excited THEN we were having a sleepover with KC on saturday night! im really excited for that also! and guess what, swimming is OVER on saturday! YESSS. finally, but its weird, even though it is done, i will still be going to practice for no reason. 

so its official, im not doing XC this fall. i really want to! it was a really hard decision but i keep telling myself that i shouldnt do it. i love running and i really want to. its not that i don't want to do it because im a slacker and i don't want to run, im doing it because that when i get into the season i  know my knee problems and tendinitas and stress fractures and every other problem i had well come back im just getting over being injured from all my injuries from last year and prior. i am just now dropping my time in  swimming , which feels so good! so i am really going to concentrate on swimming this year. i also don't want to deal with all the shit i dealed with last year in XC and track and put up with all of it this year. i hate how people give me a hard time about me not doing XC, it was the same way with HS swimming too. like seriously what the heck just mind your own business i can do what i want, people think i don't do it because im slacking off and i just don't want to, but okay i love running and swimming, anyone that really knows me knows that it is not true, i don't slack. and i just know i cant do it because of my body and i will get hurt, and i honestly really truley sucks, and i hate it. i would much radther be doing all that running then sitting at the doctors office or doing my physical therapy, but thats not how it is, some off us arnt lucky enough to have perfectly uninjured bodies. so that is why im not doing it, i don't want to be in pain for the rest of my life and be temporarily depressed not being able to do what i love but watching everyone else be able to, ANDyou know what i REALLy hate, when people complain about running and say how much they hate it because ya know what im just wtf i would trade you anyday! because i would much radther be out there running then sitting here in the trainers office. lets trade.

i love amy

beach!

if thats what you call it, well its actually a bay, but its basically a beach, i wanna think it is. well whatever i dont care, its gonna be so awesome! im really excited, ive never done something like this before, i feel like i don't live my life like a normal teenager. im pissed i cant go to warped tour. er. really mad. well my best friend got a mac! its so much fun to ichat with her on the toilet.

oh and im going on a run tomorrow morning with amy at like 6, and then were gonna do a lot of situps(RIGHT AMY!?)

ight im on high demand right now cant talk, amy is a callin'. impatiencent girl.

BYE!

my sisters keeper is a great book.

blast from the past.

k-sides house right now, looking at her old pictures. i thought this was a really pretty picture of amy and i. ^^^^^

these are super cute

?!

SLEEPY!

this is what i do all summer.
swim, eat, tan, sleep, eat, eat, sleep. repeat.
maybe if im lucky ill get a text
or see a friend.
its pretty pathetic...
i mean im not gonna complain, atleast im not in school, the weathers nice, and i have a pool, and im not grounded. but still.
i wanna have an adventure. do something crazy.

super cool

i feel so chill. i just got home from swim practice, i took a showa, ate an egg and cheese burrito, put on a sweatshirt and big shorts and like threw my hair up and am sitting on my bed on my laptop. i feel really cool.

BAHAMAS!

gorgeous sunset
The fishies were adore.

This was the second formal night, i got my hair done, its a tradition my grandma and i do every cruise, the hair stylist did a really good job! Everyone looks really good here and of course dinner was delish.

i hate the downstairs computer!

i just wrote this huge long blog, and then the computer's internet turned off so when i pressed post it all got deleted! wtf! lemme summerize what i wrote:

• i am in a relaxed mood(was...now im pissed because my blog got deleted)
• i had swim practice and i was surprised i didn't die because i havn't excersized in a week because all i did was eat last week and party.
• i got back from my cruise on friday(i miss it!) and i will upload pictures when i get on my labtop.
• micha's comin ova an we be tannin all day.
• all these famous people are dieing
• i saw UP and Tranformers 2. UP was good, Transformers, not so much, i fell asleep.
• i don't look like i just came back from the bahamas, i guess you could say i look un-pale. i am just peeling, not so attractive.
• im to nice because i let my brother have the internet today instead of my labtop, thats why im on this freaking retarded computer.
• i love summer and swimming in the morning.
• i want itunes money and a new phone.

WHAT!

i can't believe it, i really can't. it doesn't feel like the last day of school. im going to miss it sadly, i really really like the people at my school. i had really fun time this year and im so thankful that i had such good classes, because i understand that having bad classes messes everything up and makes your year suck(from experiance) i have swim practice tomorow morning, my last one for a week! IM GOING TO THE BAHAMAS SATURDAY! i looked at the weather...thunderstorms! yeah wtf. but whatever, it will still be fun. i've never gone on vacation during swim season, ever, ever, ever. so it's really weird doing it. but this season doesn't even matter because im healing and getting prepared for next season, which will be much better. but i am so stressed out right now, blogging really helps me escape and vent(im on the computer to do a english slideshow that our teacher never showed us in class because our class was talking to much...its not working) but as i was saying, im stressed. i need to finish packing tonight, and i don't like any of my formal dresses for the cruise and i don't feel like going shopping, its too frusterating. so im just going to wear the same dresses that are ripping and gross, i need to get them dry-cleaned. maybe ill go to the mall tomorow with amy and then go to kps idk?
oh and guess what, just to update since my last blog, i got a D on my science exam, with a curve! wow. thats just great, and my teacher told me school wasn't my thing and to stick with sports and not do honors, i was like wow, wtf, last week she had all this faith in me and then it was like ever since she saw my exam grade she lost every bit of hope she had in me, i've never had anybody tell me to not do my best. i was shocked she was telling me to do something and telling me i wouldn't be able to do honors biology.
i really want the new black eyed peas cd.
and right now is my brothers 5th grade graduation, he looked so cute! and i got a picture with him, but parents these days are horrible with electronics and my dad zoomed in on our faces and i look horrific, i just cam back from swim practice with no makeup and goggle marks and zits and i was making an ugly face, wanna bet he's gonna put it on facebook?
my brother wouldn't let me go to his graduation. odd. but i should probably attempt to study so i can feel like i atleast put in effort. i havnt' read a single book for english all year, im not into the old shaksperean time plays and writing.

oh and i almost forgot, my friend hudson wanted me to write about him in my blog. hudsons a cool kid. i wish i had a cool picture of him on my computer. but im on my downstairs computer so i don't. uh, well hudson and i have a wax ball that is huge and about the size of a a mini soccer ball. i eat that baybell cheese and everytime i eat it we add more of the wax from it to the ball. the ball is getting a little disgusting, but its pretty cool. its sticky. he loves my earlobes. i have really big earlobes, it runs in the family i guess. i didn't realized until this ear when he would always touch them, there sorta like a buddha's earlobes. hot huh? anyways im ACTUALLY gonna go do something beneficial. pack, study, eat, stretch, sleep, ect.

finals 1 and 2 completed?

mood: unacomplished,broken,loser,failure, lost hope,incomplete,confused.

im in a bad mood

i have this horrible feeling inside of me, i feel like i failed all my exams today. i feel like i have something i have to finish. my exams went well until i forgot that i had a time limit and i rushed at the end, on my science exam i realized i forgot to bubble in a letter so the whole thing is messed up and when i bubbled the letters it is so messy so its all screwed up, i could have actually done well. and for history, i just have no idea. i feel like this whole year i could have done better, i have being done with something and you know you can do better.

i even wore matching socks today.

and my bus driver, omfg, she is retarded, every single stop she waits till the person like basically walks to there house and then slowly drives away but is still watching them. and then she is just always staring at everyone, i seriously wanted to punch her and take the bus and drive myself home

i feel like i need to do something but i don't know what it is, i just wanna feel accomplished. today was depressing and i just don't understand anything. i want something to make me happy and excited.i want to end the school year on a good note, if i don't i will feel this way for a while.

<3

hmm, im not quite sure about everything lately. i had a good weekend i guess, except for falling off the block at my swim meet today, and get reported for "messing up the call" at the game i reffed yesterday. but beside that, ive been in a great mood.  i got some sun, and even though i did exam reviews all weekend i enjoyed my last weekend being a 9th grader. then next weekend...cruise. wahoo.

i think im going to miss school and all the people, a lot. i hope i don't miss out on any party's the first week of summer, im already missing out on the beyonce concert.

but if i don't do good on my exams this week then my summer and i are screwed. so im going to go study more. gotta finish those art drawings ive been putting off all quarter!

done

i wish i was finished. everything is tiring me out! i am putting in sooo much effort for my exams, if i don't get an A+ on everyone i give up on life.

NO!

just came across a really pretty picture of my friends... adoreable 6th graders huh?

i cant believe it! okay so i have been working on this book project for history called 1066 for the past month, and i am probably the only one in my whole class that didn't put it off or didn't cheat. and i get an 88%! AHHHH! @!%$&*%$! i was so pissed off the whole class. and im still mad. and i usually don't care about my grades but when i try really hard and actually feel like i deserve it...then i get pissed.

oh and did i mention that he gave us a packet for our exam with 29 application questions! and 130 regualr questions. im really excited.

rain rain..go away?!

i like rain. random rain. but not rain for 100 hours and have the sun never come out rain. where are we...seattle?  and i was suppose to ref a soccer tourney this weekend. 

but no. tooooo much rain. but yay i have a swim meet tomorrow...fun. hope i dont suck. 

summer or no summer? and what else leads on from that

am i excited for summer? or not?

not really sure. and i hate it, some one make up my mind. 

i had a really good year, i think... beside the grades part, and all my injuries.

the only thing is, i don't wanna be a sophmore.  i hate getting older. hate hate hate it.i hate having to be mature, or at least pretending, which im bad at. because the truth is im not. and i cant fake it, and when you get older people expect you to act like it. and it sucks.

speaking of stuff i hate...why cant i just be healthy? i always have something wrong with me, and its like a domino effect. it is beyond frusterating(and painful) 

whatevvvs

today was a depressing day i guess...

-swimmers ear, so i couldn't sleep all night, which ment i could't go to practice this morning, and i actually kinda wanted to go...

-thennnn, sad friends. this would be my BEST BEST BEST FRIEND!who so happens to be one of my sad friends. which makes me sad. im on the phone with her right now.

but NO HOMEWORK. except for exam packets and stuff, which i want to put off, but i really shouldn't. but im really glad to have finished my world history book project, i feel really smart knowing that the rest of my class put it off while I already finished, whch doesn't usually happen.

and since i don't have my laptop, ipod, or phone, there's not much i can do.